


While My Guitar Gently Weeps

by mdelpin



Category: Given (Anime), Given (Manga)
Genre: Angst, Character Study, Grief/Mourning, Guitar, Hope, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Inanimate Objects, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-16
Updated: 2019-10-16
Packaged: 2020-12-17 17:16:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,394
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21058070
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mdelpin/pseuds/mdelpin
Summary: Mafuyu brought his attention back to the instrument that he didn’t know what to do with, the same as he’d done for several days now. Their history was complicated, to say the least. Both had shared the love of the same boy, and now that he was gone, the guitar was a harsh reminder of everything Mafuyu had lost.





	While My Guitar Gently Weeps

**Author's Note:**

> Another character study, Mafuyu this time.

Disclaimer: All Given characters belong to Natsuki Kizu 

Mafuyu Sato sat on the floor of his room, his back propped up against the wall. He stared at the black guitar case leaning on the opposite side of the room, as far away from him as he could manage. Tama sniffed his hands excitedly, hoping for a pet and jumping on his lap when it wasn’t forthcoming. 

Mafuyu allowed himself a small smile as he gave his dog some attention. The Pomeranian had been a present from his mother, an attempt to help him since she couldn’t be there to work him through his grief. And Mafuyu had to admit she’d been right. Having someone to come home to, to care for, gave him a purpose he’d been otherwise lacking. It kept him present at a time when he just wanted to escape. 

He brought his attention back to the instrument that he didn’t know what to do with, the same as he’d done for several days now. Their history was complicated, to say the least. Both had shared the love of the same boy, and now that he was gone, the guitar was a harsh reminder of everything Mafuyu had lost. 

Yuuki’s mom had brought it by, determined that Yuuki would have liked him to have it. Mafuyu was sure she’d meant well, Yuuki had been a large part of his life since they were very young, but he also couldn’t help but wonder how much of the gesture had been motivated by her own guilt. Was she as caught up in it as he was? Did she know what their last words to each other had been? 

So hurtful, the words he’d said. Mafuyu hadn’t meant them, had regretted them as soon as he’d said them, but he’d been too stubborn and angry to take them back. After all, there would be plenty of time to do that once they’d made up. 

When he hadn’t heard from his boyfriend for two excruciatingly long days, he went to see him, determined to apologize for his thoughtlessness, to put the stupid fight behind them. He’d let himself in as he had hundreds of times before, calling out to Yuuki, knowing he would have been home from school already. He’d noticed that very same guitar lying on the floor, and it had given him pause, knowing Yuuki always placed it almost reverently in its case when he wasn’t using it. 

That was his first indicator that something was wrong. A horrid creaking noise that Mafuyu couldn’t place at first was the next. It had sent shivers up his spine. He wasn’t sure if he’d already known what he was going to see then, but he’d instinctively known something wasn’t right in the too quiet apartment. 

Mafuyu had unconsciously picked up the guitar from the floor and walked into Yuuki’s bedroom, feeling all the breath go out of him in a loud gasp as he was faced with Yuuki. Suddenly, he found himself holding the guitar tightly against his chest, almost as if seeking its comfort at what his eyes were having trouble accepting. 

His hand grasped the neck of the guitar tightly, his fingers squeezing the strings in an attempt to ground himself, and just as his heart exploded into a million pieces, he’d heard the twang of the guitar’s strings snapping under his fingers from the pressure. 

Yuuki, who had been so full of life, who had given Mafuyu a voice when he’d been too afraid to speak on his own, had hung himself. He would never speak again. Would never tell Mafuyu how much he loved him, or laugh at him in that annoying yet endearing way he had about him. 

Mafuyu had done that. If only he’d — 

He stopped his train of thought before he could go down that rabbit hole once again. It made no difference. Yuuki was gone, and no amount of self-recrimination was going to bring him back. So many questions ran through his mind every day, as he went through the motions of his life. 

He found himself staring at the instrument once again. In a way, that guitar had been his rival at love, something he’d once resented. Now he would do anything to be able to watch Yuuki play it, just once. To hear the sounds he made, the joy that he brought to everything. 

Mafuyu felt something shift inside him and wondered if he’d finally be able to let his tears flow, but nothing happened. All of his thoughts and feelings were tangled up in a tight knot that refused to unravel no matter how hard he tried to give them a voice, and it was so frustrating. 

He didn’t know how he was supposed to feel. Even though all he did was think about what had happened, he still couldn’t talk about it. Yuuki had been his everything, and without him, Mafuyu felt adrift. There were even times when he would absently reach out for the hand that had always led him, and when he came up empty, he’d break all over again. 

He was trapped inside himself, reliving those last moments over and over, hoping for a better outcome that would never come. He got up and walked toward the instrument tentatively, not sure why he was doing so or what he expected to find but compelled to do so just the same. 

Mafuyu unzipped the case and carefully took the guitar out, his lips curling for a short second at the bright color that was so typical of his boyfriend, only to be replaced by a pang of longing so sharp it made his stomach clench. He let himself drop on his bed as Tama yipped excitedly at his feet. 

He almost put it away then, but on a whim, he wrapped the strap around his shoulder and let it sit on his lap for a few minutes, letting himself get used to its weight. As silly as it sounded, he felt a sort of kinship to this guitar. It had shared the worst moment of his life, and even though it was an inanimate object, Mafuyu couldn’t help but feel that it suffered from the same suffocating silence he did. 

He inspected the instrument more closely, noticing the strings he’d broken in his shock. He felt horrible, having destroyed something Yuuki had loved. He fell back on his bed with the guitar still draped on his body, his arms wrapping loosely around it. 

_I miss you._

The next day Mafuyu picked up the guitar case and took it with him to school, not giving much thought as to why he did so. Soon he found himself taking the guitar with him everywhere. Its weight on his body grounded him, made him feel like a part of Yuuki was still with him somehow. 

At lunch, he would head to the set of deserted stairs he’d found, avoiding the other students and cradling the guitar in his arms as he napped. But still, he couldn’t shake the sorrow he felt at having broken the guitar’s strings, dooming it to forever be silent. 

Until the day when the dark-haired boy came to take a nap in his spot. Mafuyu sat up groggily, moving out of the way, but to his surprise, the boy sat next to him. They shared the step in uncomfortable silence, and in a surge of curiosity that was very out of character for him, Mafuyu asked him who he was. 

Uenoyama was gruff and awkward, but he did say something that changed everything. Yuuki’s guitar could be fixed, all it needed was to have the strings replaced. 

Mafuyu watched with interest as Uenoyama did just that, replacing the strings and tuning the guitar with practiced skill, playing a chord to test his handiwork. The pure sound reverberated inside of Mafuyu, filling him with awe, and loosening the knot inside him slightly, giving way to a small spark of hope. 

In his excitement, Mafuyu found himself reaching out to another for the first time since Yuuki’s death. 

“Please teach me how to play that thing!” 

The one whose love had given them both voice was gone forever, there was no changing that. But maybe, just maybe, if Mafuyu could learn to play Yuuki’s guitar, they could somehow give voice to each other. 

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: I got this idea in my head about how both Mafuyu and Yuuki's guitar had lost their voice when Yuuki died and this was born.


End file.
